What to do when a friend has Cancer?
Aug 09, 2015
I know this topic might seem a bit heavy, but it’s something we need to talk about. It’s the worst moment in the world when you find out someone you love has cancer. How do you support them? Your mind becomes scared. Your body numb. You can’t breathe. Then comes, what do I do? For some people, it’s natural to step up and know how to be that happy supportive person. For me, I’m solid at the moment they need a shoulder, but the rest of the time I feel helpless because I don’t know what else to ‘do’ to help them. So if you are faced with this dilemma, here are a few ideas.
First, don’t let your fear make you run and hide. Believe it or not, some people just drop out of the lives of people they know when cancer shows up. Let them know you are there for them for whatever they need.
Here are a few things (besides meals) you can suggest:
- Offer to bring by fresh squeezed juices, smoothies or soups
- Playing cards, audio books, games or their favorite movies or comedians
- Fresh flowers, candles, incense or room fresheners they adore
- You could do laundry, clean the kitchen, unload the dishes, pay bills
- Simply sit and sip tea or coffee, with fresh goods from a favorite bakery
Second, believe in them. Why does this matter? Because often we are overrun with feeling sad for them, and we go into feeling pity. When you feel sorry for them, that is very disempowering and even harder on them emotionally. Instead of feeling sad, send positive energy their way by believing in their ability to handle this challenge. Believe in them especially when they cannot seem to find strength within themselves.
Believe in their courage. Believe in their ability to heal. Believe that even though it will be very hard, they can find a place of peace and more courage inside than they ever knew they had. During the long process of illness, remember that hard days are a part of the process toward finding that peaceful space within.
Also, do not get confused – inner peace does not mean they have given up. Peace is the place where you rest. The fight will take time and they need moments of peace to rest. That quiet inner space of acceptance is also where they recharge their courage for another day. Inner peace is your friend. Inner peace is the respite from all the work it takes to face an illness of this size. Peace is what you truly want for them, and for everyone.
Third, take care of yourself emotionally. This time will be very hard for you emotionally. The better care you take of yourself, the better source of strength you are for your friend. There are several natural things you can do to take care of yourself (and your friend if they want you to).
Science has also shown there are several natural options that can encourage feeling less sad and more positive. This include high quality probiotics, fish oil, and coffee. It can also be beneficial to take a good multi with extra vitamins B & C, as your body requires extra when your stress is high.
Essential oils can be sprayed into the air, diffused, or added to a lotion or oil and rubbed into the skin. Some of the most emotionally uplifting in times like this are clary sage, rose, neroli, jasmine, and spearmint. Combinations of essential oils have been shown to be more effective than single essential oils. And flower essences can also be added to for extra emotional support. For information on an excellent already mixed blend, click here.
In addition, talk with a friend or see a counselor about what you are feeling,
The better care you take of your body AND your emotions, the better you will feel and the better support you will be to your friend.Would you like more support for grief or a broken heart? Buy my book packed with tips for the different stages of grief, as well as foods and beverages for the different phases in my Living Through Grief With Grace.
Like Kaliana Happy Tips? Share them with your friends!Download my easy "Key Foods to Help You Feel Happier" eBook FREE. This way, each time you grab something from your pantry, it encourages positive moods and emotions. Please leave your thoughts to inspire others. What can you do when a friend has cancer? Share in the comments below.
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treat. This information is based on research and knowledge by the author, and the ideas are not intended as substitute for medical advice. As with any products it is suggested that you check with your medical practitioner prior to use. The author disclaims any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of any products mentioned herein.