Road To Bliss
Dec 09, 2016
This is not a common occurrence; I have experienced it about 3 times in the past couple of months. I am always alone, either listening to music or on a run— it is moments where I am most present. There are no thoughts of the past or future running through my mind, only a feeling of pure joy that brings me to tears. It is always very brief, only for a minute or so, but in those moments I feel a depth of unconditional love for life. With my ongoing journey to mindfulness, these moments remind me of why living presently is worth the endless effort.
I find staying mindful incredibly challenging. I have a great amount of trouble calming my mind. Sometimes I feel as if I only understand myself when I am active and in constant motion. If I am not physically doing something, my mind is racing between ideas of what I could be doing, and what I seemingly should be doing. I have a difficult time tuning into my senses because I am constantly distracted by the thoughts in my head; but in those moments where my mind is still, I feel more alive than ever.
When I am in this state of bliss, a hug-like feeling overwhelms the inside of my body. It is like someone is squeezing me in the best way possible, and I cannot help but smile and feel as if my heart is pouring out love. Before the accident, I experienced this a good bit more, but I would still refrain from calling it common. I did not understand that those moments only happen when I am being mindful. I realize now that bliss cannot be experienced when I am focusing on the past or the future because those are not reality, only this moment right now is life.
Since beginning this journey, I have learned things about myself I did not recognize before. I have become aware of the degree at which I look to the future. I find my mind wandering during conversations and planning my next activity in the middle of my current one. I notice the pace I read tends to be so fast at times I am not fully enjoying the book. Even when I am aware of being mindful, I find it sometimes only lasts for a minute or so before my brain starts conjuring up a million thoughts again, even when it is in the middle of something I enjoy.
The common theme I have recognized is this almost inability to fully enjoy and appreciate the activities I love. I get incredibly anxious over the concept of time, as if I need to rush because there will never be enough. The conversations I find myself in and out of are ones I truly want to be a part of; my mind wanders during activities I want to last forever. I sometimes have trouble not being fully present when receiving a hug, yet I love hugs!
This journey is not a breeze, but having this realization is allowing me to change. Since becoming aware and practicing mindfulness, I have seen positive changes in myself. I use my breath as an anchor when I get too wound up in my thoughts. I recognize now that this honestly might be the most important thing I ever do for myself. I am not expecting to reach a state of eternal bliss, but having a taste of it has me willing to work the rest of my life to get there.
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treat. This information is based on research and knowledge by the author, and the ideas are not intended as substitute for medical advice. As with any products it is suggested that you check with your medical practitioner prior to use. The author disclaims any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of any products mentioned herein.