18 Tips for Reducing Anger and Frustration
May 01, 2019
Do you ever struggle with getting angry or frustrated...
...Or feel like you sometimes overreact?
Would you like to be less intense and handle situations with more kindness?
Maybe it will help you to know that anger and intensity are affected by your genetic makeup in the same way that health issues can be inherited. Although it may feel as if your anger was the initial emotion, it is actually triggered by feelings of either pain or fear.
When you get angry, it releases hormones into the blood (adrenaline, noradrenaline, & cortisol) that have to be processed out in some way. Physical exercise is one of the best ways to release anger from the body.
In the long run, anger makes you lonely. It tends to hurt or scare the people around you, and therefore pushes them away. No one enjoys being around an angry person, no matter how much they might love you.
Even if your anger is justified, it’s a problem for you...
...Anger brews in the body and creates unhealthy cells that attack each other. This results in fatigue and pain, as well as contributes to many forms of disease including cancer and autoimmune disorders. Your anger literally eats at you over time, making you very sick.
That biochemical change that happens in your body when you get angry produces angry cells that lash out and attack. And the only thing they can attack is you, because they are inside of you.
So what are the health implications of anger?
People with unresolved anger tend to get bladder problems or urinary tract infections (think of the expression "being pissed"). Anger negatively impacts not only the chemistry of the blood, but also the heart, circulation, digestion, spine, colon, brain, liver, kidneys, urine, pancreas, spleen, reproductive organs, beauty of skin as well as increased wrinkles.
There isn’t an organ or gland in the body that isn’t negatively impacted by the chemical change from irritation, frustration, and anger. Anger destroys your body from the inside out. The pain and fear hidden beneath anger trigger unconscious feelings of insecurity. That's why things that help with confidence tend to ease anger and frustration, as well as improve the strength of your body.
Is there ever a time when anger can be beneficial?
Anger can give you the inner strength to get out of a bad relationship, dangerous situation (think "fight or flight"), change jobs or even initiate changes in policies or cultural issues. However, consistently feeling anger or intense frustration will eventually become a problem for you health wise.
Nelson Mandela, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Teresa, and Gandhi all managed to create great change in the world using peaceful methods. Anger is not required for positive change to take place.
Einstein may have said it best: “You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.” It is a matter of physics and brain chemistry. Anger and fighting does not lead to more peace in the world; it only leads to more anger and fighting.
Anger Changes the Brain and Leads to More Anger
Studies have shown that aggressive behavior, such as attacking others and winning fights, builds more angry connections in the brain and leads to even more aggressive behavior and possibly even violence. This means the more often you get angry or frustrated, the more you breed increased levels of those emotions within you.
These negative emotions have also been shown to trigger changes in the amygdala in the brain. The amygdala is where autism forms. This means further research may reveal that consistent anger may increase the odds of giving birth to an autistic child (from father or mother).
Change yourself. Change your family. Change our world.
If you truly want harmony in your life, then you must learn ways to create inner peace. Remember, anger begets more anger. Which also means peace begets more peace. Currently, we live in a world with too much anger and frustration.
Choose peace. If enough of us do our part, then we gain peace in our world, and that’s how we can shift our homes, communities, countries, and world—by each of us doing our individual role to heal.
18 Tips for Releasing Anger and Frustration
Because of the change that happens in the body, anger is considered a kinetic emotion that requires some form of motion or focused intensity to release it from the body.
If possible, take a pause in the conversation—you may not be able to do this at work, but you can do this in personal relationships (hopefully). Take a breath, and as kindly as possible, ask for some time to cool off so you can return to the conversation in a calmer and kinder manner.
Depending on the situation, you may only need 15 minutes, or you may need a few hours to calm down and get more clear on how you want to express yourself regarding the topic or situation. It is critical that you relay how much time you may need.
Be sure that you are using this as a method to improve the conversation and not as a way to agitate the person you are angry with.
Use the following tips to help take control of your anger and reduce its intensity:
- Kaliana Formula: Use Confidence Fix-Me™ Mist, Beverage Booster, or Pocket Essential™ Oil to help the body stabilize and soften feelings of intensity. Use 4-6 times in 1 minute intervals.
- Breathing: close your eyes and slowly take 5 deep breaths; inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Focus on pushing the breath and intensity out of your body through your exhale.
- Counting: slowly count backwards from 10 before you respond or act.
- Sitting: repeatedly twist a washcloth or hand towel, or squeeze a stress ball.
- Standing: push hard (do not punch) against a wall—6 times for 15 seconds each.
- Scream: when you are alone—in your car or into a pillow.
- Leave the environment: go for a brisk walk or run, preferably outside. Anger can contribute to poor decision making—always do this in a safe location.
Daily Practices to Reduce Anger and Frustration:
- Kaliana Formula: Apply Joy Deep-Release™ Oil in the morning and at night to help release underlying or stored feelings of fear or pain (the root feelings of anger), as well as improve energy blocks.
- Write it out: give yourself time to vent on paper and say what you need to say. The part of you that is angry might leave this paper in a place where someone may find it and get hurt. Be responsible—either shred it after, or be conscientious about where you keep it.
- Check your diet: certain foods can contribute to feelings of irritation.
- Have fun: take a minimum of 20 minutes per day to do something you enjoy.
- Exercise: 30-40 minutes of moderate exercise 3-5x/week. Science has shown with consistency this increases happiness.
- Acceptance: let go of the requirement that things need to go a certain way.
- Choose closeness: always having to be right can make others feel less than and pushes them away from you.
- Talk about your problems: instead of burying your feelings, talk to a therapist, wise friend, or Kaliana.
- Cry it out: when trying to let go or get to the root of anger or intense emotions, feeling sad or afraid is positive progress. Give yourself a specific 15-30 minutes 2x/week to anguish over your struggle. Setting aside this time gives your emotional body permission to express itself, release feelings, and not have to carry these emotions into other parts of your life. Tears are a positive sign because it means you're releasing stored emotions from the body.
Moving through anger takes practice and self-awareness.
Figure out which of these tips work best for you and be consistent. If you begin by employing even one tip from each list, you'll begin to see improvements in not only your relationships with others, but your relationship with yourself.
Be patient with your progress and remember—there is no emotion more powerful than you.
About the Author: Kaliana has been studying natural healing since 1976. She developed her own line of aromatherapy products in 1995, is a gifted intuitive, Master Energy Healer, author of 4 books, professional speaker, and offers private consulting for spiritual women and moms.
Kaliana is a certified Phyto-Aromatologist, graduated from Queens University as a Presidential Scholar, sat on the Board for Eating Disorders at The University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, holds a 4-year Advanced Certification from the Mastery of the Heart School, and teaches certified courses for Continuing Education Hours by NCBTMB.
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treat. This information is based on research and knowledge by the author, and the ideas are not intended as substitute for medical advice. As with any products it is suggested that you check with your medical practitioner prior to use. The author disclaims any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of any products mentioned herein.